


I might just kiss you

by DoomsdayFairy



Series: fictober19 [2]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: I feel bad for writing this, M/M, Mutsuki I'm sorry :(, Trans Male Character, poor boy has had a rough life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-11-24 10:23:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20906084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoomsdayFairy/pseuds/DoomsdayFairy
Summary: Mutsuki is used to receiving kisses.He isn't used to liking them.





	I might just kiss you

**Author's Note:**

> Warning! Other than the rape mentioned in the archive warnings, this work also contains both incest and pedophilia. There's also a lot of diffrent prounounces used to refer to Mutsuki as he's questioning his gender, and some refrences to deliberate misgendering by other characters, in case anyone is upset by that kind of stuff. 
> 
> Based on fictober prompt nr 5: "I might just kiss you"

Tooru giggled and spun around in front of the mirror, admiring the way that her skirt and hair seemed to flutter around her. She felt really pretty. Like a grown up. 

She couldn’t wait to start elementary school tomorrow. 

Out in the hallway she could hear the front door open, meaning that daddy had just came home from work. Excited, Tooru rushed out to show him her new uniform.

“Daddy! Daddy! Look at me!” 

“Oh?” Daddy said, putting down his briefcase on the floor so that he could lift Tooru up into his arms and spinning her around in the air. Tooru squealed in delight.

“Why, look at you,” daddy commented as soon as they’d stopped spinning “My big little girl. So beautiful. You’re even prettier than your mother!” Daddy’s grip on Tooru tightened he pressed a light kiss against her forehead and whispered

“...I might just kiss you,”

*

As the years progressed daddy’s kisses became a lot more frequent, and a lot less pleasant. 

They would be delivered in the dead of the night, once all the lights were shut off and the rest of the house had gone to sleep. Daddy would come into her bedroom, from which the lock on the door had long since been removed, and crawl in under the covers with her.

“Do you love me?” he would ask, his breath so often reeking of cigarettes and alcohol

“Who’s the best daddy, huh? Who is it?”

“...you” she would whisper back meekly, because when it came to either facing her father’s drunken wrath in the form of kicks and punches, or just laying still as the man ran his hands over her body, caressing the inside of her thighs and fondling the two lumps that were starting to form on her chest (that she was hating more and more for each day), she would always pick the latter. 

When daddy finally left she would sometimes cry, but as time passed on she found herself growing more numb to almost everything. She knew that she was probably in the wrong, and it probably wasn’t healthy to think this way, but sometimes Tooru wasn’t sure if she could ever love daddy the same as she had when she was little. She knew that he loved her but… 

Those words so often whispered in her ear at night, once so sweet and innocent, spoke of a kind of love not ever supposed to be shared between a father and daughter

“...I might just kiss you.”

*

Torso’s breath stank of old rotten flesh as he slowly leaned in closer to Tooru’s face. 

“You’re so pretty!” he cooed “The prettiest! My Tooru is the prettiest!” Tooru closed his eyes and tried not to flinch as the ghouls hands carefully cupped his face, and Tooru wondered, briefly, just what he had done to deserve this? Why was it his lot in life to live as the property of someone else? Why could this body not just simply be _his_ for once? Why was it that people always felt the need to touch him? To play with him? To love him? (to love _her_, a part of Tooru whispered. Didn’t he tell you? You’re not a man with him. You’re not allowed.) 

Was this really what love was supposed to be like? 

From everything else that Tooru had been through, it almost seemed like it.

Torso smiled and leaned in closer, and Tooru wondered if maybe it wouldn’t be better this time if he just accepted what he knew for sure was to come next, as he’d already experienced it so many times before.

“...I might just kiss you.”

*

This! This was good! 

This was really good. 

Tooru’s heart beat hard against their ribcage as they gazed down at the ghoul beneath them. His beautiful grey eyes looked back at them with a shocked expression. He probably wanted to be let go, Tooru figured, but they weren’t willing to. Not yet anyway. 

No, today it was  _ their _ turn to get what  _ they _ wanted. 

They could understand now, they thought, why Torso and their father had both been so delighted to play with them. Life sucked when you were sombody else’s play-thing. Life was amazing when you were the one playing! And play they would. 

With themselves. 

With him.

Sensei. 

The way they’d cut his face, the way he lay there open and exposed just for them, it almost seemed as if though his mouth was inviting them in. 

“Oh sensei…” 

Tooru leaned forward, giggling like a little schoolgirl. 

“I might just kiss you!” 

*

“I might just kiss you.” 

The way he said it, so matter of factly, made Tooru have to stop and do a double take to make sure that he’d actually heard him right

“W...what?”

Urie shrugged nonchalantly, though there was nothing nonchalant about the way he spoke. 

“I said,  _ I might just kiss you _ . That is, if you want me to” 

His speech was calm. Controlled. Calculated.

In other words, Urie in a nutshell. 

Tooru on the other hand, was having a hard time keeping his cool as the thoughts in his heart and thoughts raced.

Urie wanted to kiss him? So why didn’t he? Why wasn’t he already on top of Tooru sticking his tongue down his throat? What was he waiting for? An invitation?

...Oh

Yes. Yes he was waiting. Waiting for Tooru to make his move. Waiting to see if it was okay, if he was allowed to… kiss… him

Waiting.

For Tooru.

Did Tooru want to kiss Urie? 

Yes, he realized with amazement. He did. 

Well then.

“I think… “ he breathed “I think, I might just kiss you too”

And so they did.

Lips and tongues clashing in a moment of heated passion. Kissing. Playing.

Together. 

No toy and master. Just two playmates. Equals.

And for the first time ever, it felt  _ really  _ good. 

**Author's Note:**

> I was unsure of if I should put Sasaki-Uta in the character tags or not, but in the end decided against it since he's not really the focus of the fic and it just seemed excessive. Didn't put Mutsuki's father there either because let's face it, he doesn't even have a cannon name ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


End file.
